Thursday musings

Not really a fan of having dental work done but unfortunately I have lots that needs to be done. Don't smoke. And if you do, quit today!!! It does bad things to good teeth too! All my chickens coming home to roost. I smoked for decades. Paying the piper.  Next week middle child comes for a visit. Looking forward to it. This is an exercise and diversion from arguing politics on the internet. I am like everyone else. I see something that is soooo obvious I can't understand how everyone else doesn't see it my way too. No need to keep hitting my head against that brick wall so it's this and games. Off to game. More musings sometime in the future.

Letting Go

and counting blessings. It what humans do. Letting go to the memories of 30+ years of friendship and the ability to pick up the phone and talk about them is hard. I remember after my Mom passed away, for about 5 years I would find myself reaching for the phone to get her opinion and the realization again, that she was gone. It's different with a friend, especially one that you shared confidences with, confidences that were hard to admit to yourself let alone another human, but you took that leap of faith and now you only have the memories. I don't know if you will ever see this and read it Sallie, but you broke my heart. I am finding it difficult to move on so I write about it here in this secluded corner of the web where no one other than I will ever see it. I am disappointed with myself I must note, that I even felt the need to write these thoughts down before sending them off into the nether.

still processing

it hits me at odd times. I have lost my best friend although she still is. It's just hard to take in. The times you reach for the phone to text or call, and then put it down because that is no longer an option. The recriminations. The self doubt, as if that is something you didn't already have in abundance! But...